Keeping The Romance Alive


Valentine’s Day (or otherwise known as Singles Awareness Day) stirs all kinds of opinions and emotions depending on who you talk to. You might have that single and loving it friend, a friend who is single and doesn’t love it and therefore is that black rain cloud on anything related to Valentine’s Day, and then there’s people who are in happy relationships and already have their DIY/Pinterest inspired presents and cards ready to go.

For the longest time I floated between the last two descriptions until I met my husband. As a young adult navigating the last years of high school and college (and being in and out of bad relationships) it  was a difficult day, that pesky February 14th, when everything and everyone is celebrating love, which was something I couldn’t participate in. It’s not a fun feeling and you can help but feel depressed (insert a copious amount of pity chocolate and queue up the Netflix!).

However, currently being in a healthy and happy relationship with my husband, despite those difficult and painful past relationships, I’ve come to realize the importance of keeping the love and romance alive not just on Valentine’s Day, but rather in every day of your relationship.

Here are a few ways that we keep the romance alive in our marriage:
+always say I love you. This is by far the MOST important piece to our marriage. We literally say it to each other multiple times a day and although it sounds cheesy there’s nothing like hearing it from the one you love. Plus: men love hearing it too ;)
+small gestures go a long way. Little gestures that you do for your spouse can often times mean more to them than any fancy or expensive gift. A impromptu foot massage, flowers, a random small gift from their favorite store, or leaving a post-it love note on their car is surely to show them you’re thinking about them.
+take the time to learn about their interests. My husband LOVES wine and I’m not just talking about drinking it; he loves the culture and the process of making wine. Every now and then he pours at Artiste, a tasting room in Los Olivos, and had always wanted me to come pour with him. I never really had the interest myself, but knowing he was so excited about the idea I spent the day doing something he loved and loved even more that I was getting into it. It ended up being an amazing day and has become something we both can share and enjoy together.
+make the time for each other. This is pretty easy considering we don’t have children yet, but I know it is something that I hear a lot from other couples: that they don’t make enough time for each other. Between hectic schedules and work hours I don’t doubt that carving out whatever time you have left in your day can be challenging. However, making time to be two adults and spending time as two adults is vital for any relationship. For example, we look forward to trivia night each Wednesday at a local bar and that’s our one thing we always do together that’s fun and would be easy to continue even after having children.
+random acts of kindness. Is there something that you know your spouse always does around the house or for the family and know that if you did them from time to time they would appreciate the help? Then do it! RAK are other small gestures that goes a long way and are simple to do.
+always remember to laugh. Laughter makes the heart happy and everyone wants to be happy. Our house is always filled with laughter and it’s important to keep laughing because life has a way of throwing some major downers your way.

These are just a few of the ways my husband and I keep the romance alive in our relationship all throughout the year. How do you celebrate Valentine’s Day and what tips do you have in keeping the romance going? Let’s discuss! :)

And....I just have to show off my beautiful flowers I received from my husband today. 
We plan to celebrate tonight with a romantic dinner in Santa Barbara <3

Helene in Between


  1. These are all such great, heartfelt tips! I know that after several years of being together, the romance can start to fade... I will definitely keep these in mind in my own relationship!
    - Sara

  2. I couldn't agree more on learning more about your partner's interests. To me it's really important to engage more than you disengage and while I don't like everything my husband is into and vice versa, it's just more enjoyable to participate in life together!