An Interview With My Husband: June Edition


Philip is my husband and we will have been married for one year on June 28th! I met this handsome fellow in a bar back in Alexandria, VA and knew right then, and after a few Snake Bites later, that this  man was the one. Philip is someone I can be my complete and uncensored self with, someone I can laugh with until it hurts, someone who shares in my passions and desires, and someone who simply completes me. And you don’t find that kind of love just anywhere.

Today I want to share a little of my husband with you all in the form of an interview. Each month I send him ten questions that vary and wait eagerly for his response. I am almost always surprised by his honest answers, which makes this process so much fun!

1. I know you love food. What are your top 5 favorite foods, with the most favorite first?
This is probably the one question I will have to keep revisiting if I must narrow it down to 5.  Honestly, it would be easier to tell you the foods I DON’T like.  I guess I’ll start with the things I really miss when I can’t get them or go a long period without:

                  1. Hitching Post steak in Casmalia
                  2. Tri Tip sandwich from Cold Springs Tavern
                  3. Really good caviar with all the accoutrements (cause I likes to be fancy sometimes)
                  4. Fried chicken from Willie Mae’s Scotch House in New Orleans
                  5. Jerk chicken from any roadside stand in Negril, Jamaica – I still dream of it

2. Where in the world would you love to visit next? What about that place appeals to you the most?
Again, another difficult question.  Traveling is one thing that first opened my eyes to how small my life is (but, not in a bad way).  It makes me appreciate the differences in all of us and makes me want to live as others do.  The only bittersweet moment I’ve had with the thoughts of our differences is that no matter how hard I try, I will never be a local in another country.  I wasn’t raised there.  I don’t understand their ways and that is something you cannot fake.

But back to the question (and this is tricky now as opposed to a number of years ago when I was single, didn’t have a puppy that I constantly worry about, and was much more reckless).  I’m leaning towards France, but that would be to LIVE, not just visit.  Have to go with Australia.  I’ve known since I was a kid that a kangaroo would definitely make an awesome friend.  No doubt.  I’ve always had a fascination and I hope that deep down I will feel like I did when I was a kid when I visit.  (That actually happened when I visited England and it was an amazing feeling – set my wanderlust in motion)

3. Do you have a bucket list? Why or why not? What would be on your bucket list if you did have one?
I do and I don’t.   There are things I definitely want to do, but those goals are always changing.  I’m not sure why.  Maybe I’m just not as interested in some things like I used to be – for example, I always wanted to party in Ibiza.  Now, not so much.  Or maybe, the more things I do and places I see, the less I’m easily enthused.  I hope that isn’t so.  I don’t ever want to get bored.  Here are a few things:
                  1. Have children (absolutely #1)
                  2. Break the sound barrier
                  3. Stay in an over-the-water bungalow in the South Pacific
                  4. Drive sports car that costs more than the house I grew up in
                  5. Own a Porsche
                  6. Speak French and Spanish fluently
                  7. Attend a Formula 1 race in person (specifically Monaco)
                  8. Dip my timepiece in every ocean (just 2 more to go!)

4. What makes you feel fulfilled?
Simple.  Being a husband to you and a father to our Murphy dog.  Feeling needed gives me purpose.   It changed how I saw myself and also made me vulnerable.  I’ve never liked feeling vulnerable and constantly thinking about the most important woman/puppy in my life makes me worry more than I ever did about myself, but it gives me focus and that makes me happy.

5. When was the last time you cried (or shed a tear)?
About a week ago when you showed me pictures of people spending their last moments/days with their pets that were going to be put down.  I held Murphy close and felt bad for getting mad at him earlier in the day for something dumb.  I cried harder than I had in a while.  Harder than I expected I would.  And that was just with regards to Murphy.  I worry about you every. single. day.  And I have no idea why – probably because the thought of not having you would traumatize me.  Funny thing is, before getting married to a wonderful woman and having an awesome puppy, I hardly ever cried.  Now it seems like my heart is outside of my body.  That’s something I was not prepared for.  Before, I was invincible.  Now, I’m sensitive to animals, children, and those born disabled more than ever – (basically those that can’t fend off the world by themselves).  I’m not ashamed.  I just wasn’t prepared for all the feels.

**For perspective: here’s the article I showed him via Buzzfeed. Bring tissues. Lots of them.

6. At what times do you need assurance of my love the most?
This usually happens when I’m feeling lost professionally.  Sometimes work gets me down or I don’t feel like I have a purpose despite having steady employment.  If I’m not feeling fulfilled outside of the home, I become sensitive.

7. Putting aside money or time, if you could have one thing what would it be?
Health.  Without that, money and time mean almost nothing.

8. Where do you think we will be in 5 years?
My vision consists of us with our little ones running around with Murphy on the beach.  At least one.  Probably two by that point.  My hair will hopefully still be black J and we’re very happy.  If we can make it work, I would love to stay in California.  Like I said, as long as I can afford it, I want to stay.  My career honestly isn’t something I focus on in our future.  I know it should be, but things have a way of working out.  I’m sure I’ll be employed doing something, but what I do is not who I am. 

9. What is your all-time favorite TV show to watch? What about that show makes it your favorite?
I would have to say Californication.  Although, that was really before we moved to California.  I had a love affair with this state and always hoped we make it out here and when I watched the show, I felt like I was back.  Also, when the show originally aired, I really related to the main character – self-loathing, drank too much, didn’t have direction.  It was a darker time for me, but I took solace in that.  Now, life is too good to be unhappy. Also, I’m a big fan of any travel show that Anthony Bourdain is on.  If he’s in it, I’m watching.

10. What is your favorite memory of us?
Another good question, because I have many and I don’t think I could narrow it down to one.  Our wedding day is the first memory that comes to mind, but our first trip together to New Orleans is a good one too because it kinda set “us” in motion.  There’s the time we went to the airport to pick up Murphy for the first time, and the first time we went to Turks and Caicos and I got to see you check off “white sand and clear water” from your bucket list (that was very fulfilling to me).

...and he even had a few questions for me.

1. How have you changed since you met me? Since we've been married?
In more ways than I can count. But, if I had to choose the most important thing about myself that has changed, it’s my self-value. You’ve given me confidence in myself and in our relationship by how you treat me, how you show you love me, and the unconditional support you give me every single day. I’ve learned how to love myself because of the way you love me. 

2. Gotta ask you the 5 favorite foods as well ;) but you gotta be SUPER specific (not just "sushi" - what kind and from where).
Haha oh don’t you know me so well. Hmmm...well, piggy-backing off the first question I do have to say that one way I have changed since being married to you is the exposure to a variety of cuisines and flavors over the years so luckily picking my 5 aren’t too difficult.

1. Sushi Taro | Washington, D.C. & NOBU | Malibu, CA
Okay, I had to mention sushi at least once here. You’ve always told me that when the locals eat somewhere you know it’s good. This is especially true for sushi. Practically anywhere sushi can be found but it’s not always a good thing (i.e. when I got sick from sushi in Ojai). Sushi Taro was always something we looked forward to when we lived in D.C. and their assortment of fresh fish was absolutely delicious.

I also chose to slide in NOBU for the obvious reasons. It’s sushi, my all-time favorite, but it’s also one of my first introductions to California with you. I may not have seen any celebrities (unless you count Kenny G) but the sushi and cocktails definitely keeps you coming back.

2. The Inn at Little Washington | Washington, VA
Because of you I have grown to learn what a tasting menu is and it happens to be the best invention ever. So for this one it’s not one particular food, however, it’s the culmination of foods I get to try with a tasting menu. I am always surprised by the quality and presentation of food at The Inn and I love that you first took me there for my birthday as a surprise. It’s one of my favorite memories with you (especially when they put my name on the menu!).

3. Estadio | Washington D.C.
I chose Estadio for many reasons but in regards to my favorite foods it’s their cheese & cured meat charcuterie plate. This was one of your favorite places to dine when living in D.C. and was amongst the first day-dates I had with you. This was the beginning of a food exploration relationship and I was excited to be along for the ride. Before you, I had no idea what charcuterie was and how delicious this concept was. Meat and cheese? On a plate? As an appetizer? Yes, please! Another favorite and worth mentioning: their tapas and sangria!

4. Rice by Mama | Ventura, CA
This is obvious and I think it can be credited as both of our favorites. Although I stick to either the crab fried rice or red curry with chicken, and you’re more exploratory of their menu, Rice by Mama is the best Thai food I think I’ve ever had. This is also compared to Lotus of Siam in Vegas (I know, but I think RbM is better). I love that it’s within walking distance and you’re up for it practically all the time like me.

5. Casa Rio | The Riverwalk | San Antonio, TX
Every single time we visit home with your family I HAVE to get Casa Rio for their enchilada plate. I know it’s a bit of a silly tradition but I’ve been doing it with you ever since I first came to TX to meet your family. And although I’m not a Texas native, it’s my little tradition I share with you and your family and something I look forward to continue with our babies. Besides, who WOULDN’T want a massive serving of cheese, sour cream, and guac on their enchilada?!  And don’t forget the river ducks.

3. What do you see in our future in the short and long term?  Children, living location, etc.
Our future has many things and children are definitely in the picture. I imagine two; a boy and a girl. We are living along the coast, much like we are now. I love our life as it is and I can’t wait to see how it will unfold for us. I also see traveling. Venturing all over the world. I love that we set a travel jar and was just able to begin scratching places off our list. 

4. What is your favorite memory of us?

Hmm...that’s a hard one. It’s true that I have many favorites and to narrow it down to just one almost diminishes the many other memories I have of us. But, if I had to choose just one it would have to be learning to two-step with you when we were back in Texas the first time. There’s nothing that can adequately describe the feeling of giddy-ness (is that even a word?) and to put it simply: fun I have with you when we’re dancing together. We don’t do it often, but when we’re dancing everything else melts away and for that moment it’s just the two of us, in sync, and enjoying that moment together.

5. What has been the most surprising feeling/event you've experienced since we've been together?

The excitement of moving. We did a lot of it, especially when we lived in D.C./VA and although it’s quite the process to do, it’s invigorating at the same time. I’m someone who grew up and stayed in the same place her entire life; always being within a 20-30 minute drive from family. I had always wanted to travel and knew that a world was out there waiting to be explored, however, it was being with you and your nature of not being able to sit still long enough that has truly made this life exciting and filled with adventure and memories. I love where we are now, but I look forward to the opportunities we can travel or live in different places and experience new things together. So, I would say our life of constant motion is the most welcoming surprise I’ve experienced since we’ve been together.

I loved interviewing my husband and can’t wait to see what’s in store in July!

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