One thing I’ve really enjoyed is bringing my husband into this little blog of mine in the form of monthly interviews. I am always surprised by his responses and every time his answers make me see that he’s got a lot more going on in that mind of his than he lets on. I especially love how I try to give him boundaries (like, #4!), and yet he runs with it! I love the enthusiasm he brings to our conversations and every now and then I learn a little more about him. Not to mention his affinity for Bond...
Here’s the July interview...
1. What are the chances you’ve passed up on in your life that you look back on?
……Tricky question. I’ve taken a lot of chances that panned out and some that didn’t and I don’t have any regrets. That being said, nothing stands out in my mind. So, I guess I haven’t dwelled on it – and I think that’s a good thing.
2. What terrifies you the most?
For a long time, I would’ve said nothing because I was arrogant enough to say that I was untouchable. But my big fears involve losing you and our Murphy dog. Like I’ve said in the past, once you wear your heart on the outside of your body, you stop worrying about yourself. My family is the most important thing to me and I would burn cities to the ground if it meant protecting you.
3. What is the most important life lesson you would want to share with our future children?
Nothing ever lasts. Good or bad, everything in this world has a finite amount of time (this applies to the tangible and intangible). When it’s good, enjoy it for as long as it lasts. When it’s bad, press on – one foot in front of the other until you’re through it. It will be very, very difficult sometimes; you will find yourself broken, maybe even more than once in your life and you may ask how you ended up there. You will experience dark places and dark thoughts and question humanity and the good in the world and you will wonder if you will ever recover. You will. The sun will shine again and you will forget about the darkness, but you will recognize who you’ve become because of it. You will be stronger, smarter, and better prepared for the next storm that is inevitably heading your way. This I know because I was able to come out on the other side a better person – and you will too. Because you are mine.
4. If you could only pick 3 essential values we want our children to embrace above all others what would they be?
(My first 3 are my essentials, but those that follow are things I find important)
- Treat others as you would like to be treated, but never assume that others do the same.
- Play to your strengths in public, but work on your weaknesses in private.
- Never stop learning – the competition doesn’t.
- Time is the only currency that matters and youth is your greatest asset.
- Always go for the kiss. At worst, an awkward moment; at best, who knows?
- Never beat yourself up, there are plenty in this world that will do that for you.
- Never apologize if you don’t mean it (and don’t let anyone shame you into saying sorry).
- Also, never apologize to someone you are giving money to.
- Always assume that you know less than you do. It’s when you start thinking you are smart that you cease to be.
- Never speak about money in public. Whether talking about how much you make or how expensive something is on the menu – both are bad form.
- Invest in quality.
- Never let someone else dictate what is or is not “important”. But know that I would never lead you astray.
- Never threaten. Threats are for the weak. The strong act swiftly without warning.
- Always keep your cool. When you start yelling, people stop listening.
- Question everything and everyone.
- Never grow up.
5. How can I add to your happiness?
You have honestly made me the happiest I’ve ever been. The only thing I can think of that would make us both happier is babies.
6. To you, what is the difference between living and feeling alive?
Living is just getting by – eating, sleeping, going to work, going home, becoming comfortable. Being comfortable will kill you quicker than you think.
Feeling alive is doing things that others are afraid to – taking risks, being adventurous, developing a sense of wonder, always questioning everything, and never accepting anything for face value
7. What is your favorite book? What about that book makes it your favorite? (could be from childhood up until now)
I have a few favorites...
Starship Troopers (fantastic story – and no, it’s not like the movie. Which is also pretty sweet.), Jurassic Park (first book to really hooked me in when I was in high school), and every Bond book that Ian Fleming wrote (I’ve read them all twice). But when it comes down to what I really appreciate from a book, it’s when I am left in a daze unable to focus on anything but what I’ve just read. There are only 2 books that have ever had that effect on me (spoiler alert):
Farewell to Arms (Hemingway) – the last 2 pages of this book are incredibly somber. The main character lives through atrocities of WWI and has to escape his unit or else face being shot point blank, is branded a deserter and struggles to get back to his love. She is pregnant with his child and they run away to Switzerland in order to avoid being arrested. For a number of pages, they live in peaceful bliss through her pregnancy and he acknowledges that the worst of his life is behind him and he may now live a wonderful life as a husband and father. Unfortunately, both his wife and baby boy die during childbirth. He visits his wife as she passes, kisses her on the forehead and leaves the hospital to wander nowhere in the rain. After reading such a powerful ending like that when you aren’t expecting it, it lingers on. And because it is so difficult, it forced me to reflect on how fragile life can be. That no matter how hard you fight and struggle and love, sometimes you can’t escape the dreadful.
Moonraker (Fleming) – (Note: the book is nothing like the horrible movie) James Bond is placed in a position that he is certain is going to kill him and an innocent woman he has been protecting and comes to terms with his death; he holds her close as she is crying and wonders if life could have been different for them. They do manage to survive (with great injury) and on the final page Bond is contemplating his feelings for her as he waits to meet her in a park. He imagines being with her and mulls over the things he wants to say to her once he sees her. He is excited at the prospect of falling in love and allowing someone in after being closed off to everyone for so long. As she approaches he notices a man waiting for her - A man she hadn’t mentioned before. Without showing how hurt he is, he bids her farewell, watches her walk away, and turns around to face his own existence alone once again.
I realize that both of these examples are a bit melancholy, but they have always struck me as powerful endings to great stories that I could relate to as I struggled to become a man.
8. The song that makes me think of you is ________.
I have a few but the first that always comes to mind is Sparks by Coldplay. It’s a very simple song, but the music makes me think of you every time.
9. What was the best meal you’ve ever eaten? Where was it and what made it the best?
I have had so many great meals that it’s hard to narrow down really. I’ll always remember when we were initially dating and I took you to have charcuterie and cheese for the first time. You seemed to love it so much (and still do) and I was grateful that I was the one that introduced you to it.
10. What is one goal you’d like to accomplish by the end of this year?
I’d really like to get a raise